The Heart of the Father

I awoke from an interesting dream last night. Ever since I first heard the voice of God when I was 16 years old, He has spoken to me in a variety of ways, dreams being one of them. When I was 16, I knew that it was the voice of God because I had never heard it before. It was NEW, and it came with a warm Presence—with love, freedom, and power that I had not known previously. It came with truth that lined up with the Word of God, and it set me free in a singular moment. That’s what the voice of God does. It heals and liberates. But it also corrects. I’ve been taken by this Scripture recently in the book of Proverbs—the Banner of Wisdom, that we find in the center of our Bible.

A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.“ (Prov. 17: 10).

I don’t know about you…but I want to be a person of understanding, able to receive correction. I believe this dream was a loving correction from my Father, to me and perhaps to you, if you have found yourself in a similar place.

So in the dream, I was sitting across the table from a spiritual father, and he was lamenting, grieved and tired from all of the spiritual work that he was doing. He said, “All I want to do is go home and dance around the house with my kids.” His effort to bring God worship in the way that he thought God wanted was exhausting him.  I was comforting this father in the dream, attempting to encourage him, and I told him that I thought maybe he just needed a break.

Well as I was writing ✍️ the dream down this morning, praying for this spiritual father, that God would bring rest to his weary soul, I had a thought. “Maybe, this spiritual father represents our Heavenly Father.” As I began to ponder this, I began to feel a sort of plea from my Heavenly Father, an intimate desire from the heart of my Father.  

“Kristi, all I want to do is dance around the house with you and enjoy you,” and even further, “This is my heart cry for the Church, Kristi, that they would KNOW ME AS THE FATHER WHO DELIGHTS IN THEM.”

Now, I’ll have you know that I have been on a journey for years now of discovering this God who loved me first—discovering the One who knit me together in my mother’s womb, the One who created me out of the overflow of His affection and desire. I have met Him over and over again—often in secret and usually in desperation. In recent months, however, this loving Father has had me put my hand to the plow in some areas of my life—to serve Him with the things that He’s given me. And I have slowly by slowly realized that my intimacy and simple delight in just being my Father’s daughter has waned. It is easy to not identify yourself with the “work of God” when you’re not really “doing” anything “for God,” but the minute you begin to put your hand to the plow, that sneaky devil loves to come in and get you to define your righteousness by your efforts. And this is a dead-end—every single time.

Perhaps you can relate? So what do we do?

I want to share a song with you that the Lord began to speak to me in February 2020, right before the whole world shut down. It’s an old song, so I know that it was simply God who deposited it in my spirit, prophetically speaking to me about what was soon to happen.

“Clear the stage and set the sounds and lights ablaze if that’s the measure You must take to crush the idols. Jerk the pews and all the decorations, too, until the congregation’s few. Then, have revival. Shine the light on every corner of our lives until the pride, and lust, and lies, are in the open. Read the Word, and put to test the things you’ve heard until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken…Cause you can sing all you want to. Yes, you can sing all you want to. You can sing all you want to and still get it wrong. Worship is more than a song”

(Jimmy Needham).

Shortly after the Lord started singing this song to me, He literally used Covid to do just that. Now, I’m not saying He started Covid, but what I am saying is that He most assuredly used it to get our attention. He did in fact clear the stage.

How do we avoid not giving God what we THINK He wants and instead give Him what He actually wants?

I can assure you what HE ACTUALLY WANTS IS YOU, just plain old YOU.

I’m reminded of the story of the Prodigal Son, which one author more aptly put it…the story of the Prodigal Father. It’s the story of the Father “wasting” His love on His ungrateful, turned exceedingly grateful son. How do you see that story? Is it about the younger son’s rebellion? Or the older son's religious labor? No, no. It’s about the Father’s lavish love for both of them. Sometimes we find ourselves far away, bathed in pig slop. Other times, we may be in the house 🏠 working for something that God gives all for free.

I remember the Lord told me a few years back, “Kristi, fruit is meant to bring you joy, but it will never bring you peace.” He was speaking to me about the difference between John 15— when He says, “I pray that you bear much fruit, so that your JOY will be complete” versus Romans 5—when He says, “Therefore, having been JUSTIFIED BY FAITH you have PEACE with God.” If you have found yourself on the slippery slope of serving God, and then justifying yourself by that work, I encourage you to pause, and rethink your view of the Father. Return to the One who LOVED YOU FIRST.

Maybe He just wants to go to the park with you and swing on the swing or maybe He wants to take a walk with you and smell the roses. I know my heart needed that wake up call today. I know that I needed to hear Him say, “All I want is to just dance around the house with you.”